I dreamed of you the other night, But you weren't mine. It was summer and we were in the firecracker and I could smell your sun heated skin from where I sat in the back of the boat. Someone else was in the seat next to you. And I seemed to know all the things about you that I know now except that you were mine. You were beautiful and vibrant and so real. I woke in dazed confusion and spent the day in a panic. I never figured out why.....

How to walk through the days with the pain eating through my body without giving it away is the question of the year.  Keep smilin and going through the motions is the answer cause when I stop doing that I fall apart.

Lost

How long has it been since I belonged?
Since the end and the beginning.
Since before and after.Since hell and Heaven.
Since you.........

Why Can't Heaven Be Next Door

Listening to the song
This wouldn't be so hard
If Heaven weren't so far away
Wishing for my baby's arms
To comfort me and make me stay
Knowing that he was the one
To always make my pain okay
Wondering if today
Will be when God takes this pain
And gives me back my baby..........

Loneliness

Locked inside his mind
The world moves on.
Each day like the last
Seen through a haze of pain.
Leaving the dream behind
Embracing the nightmare
Because it's all that's left.
Release leaves me an empty shell
And gives him paradise.............

emptyness

Standing in the rain
        I am dust
Feasting with the gods
       I starve
Following a never ending trail
       I dream
Reaching for the stars
       I fail
Moon dust in my eyes
       I'm blind
In the still and quiet
       The world breathes